astral faerie eighteen

minor success!

Posted on: June 2, 2010

one of the biggest problems with last night is that while i’m sure my oobe was a dream, i don’t know if my sleep paralysis was a dream too or not. i think if i woke up asap and didn’t just cower away in bed after the experience i would have been able to tell. but, to be frank, i was a little frightened because of something i saw in my “oobe”. it looked like a cat demon, but not at the same time (god damn, i can’t do a search for cat demon on google images without furry anime characters taking up the page XD). it was really just a big, black shadowy upside down tear drop looking thing with cat ears. it was outside my mom’s window. *this* is why i believe it’s a dream (i didn’t know this waking up from the “oobe”) because the way it worked, and also my thought of it at the time, was like the vampire erin pavlina encountered once (link) so i do believe that at best, it was a figment of my imagination (assuming it was a legit oobe) but more likely, it was just a bad dream.

why do i believe i was still successful? because, dear readers (current population: 0 :P), i didn’t try to run before i could walk! my last few experiences of this sort, i’d be all over the place trying to get shit done, but this time, i was just focused on seeing and moving around. hell, i didn’t get more than twenty feet from my room, and i’m damn proud because i haven’t been able to execute that kind of self control/lack of expectations in dreams for a while now ^w^.

something i should learn from this though is that i have to start taking my attempts more seriously. it took me forever (hahaha look at my with my fancy type :P) to get out of bed today. i tried to come up with any excuse to sleep in, when really i should have turned off the alarm, gotten out of bed and gone and found something to do for a few hours. also, i need to start pulling the blinds back because although i’d rather induce sleep paralysis when there’s sunlight around, it doesn’t help with relaxing my eyes enough to actually accomplish anything. i think, also, that when i was on the verge of SP and accidentally pulled myself out, i should have woken up or something to make sure i was awake and that the SP wasn’t just a dream, too. the thing with me is, a lot of the time i don’t have to be lying on my back to get SP. a lot of the times i’m on my stomach or sides when i get it, but i think that’s partly how i hindered my progress this morning, because i decided to get more comfortable (lying on my back wasn’t getting me anywhere) and i think perhaps i got too comfortable and ended up drifting off to sleep. urgh, this is what annoys me right now XD i can’t tell if the sleep paralysis was real or not!

i remember not opening my eyes, because, while my hallucinations before were very minor, i didn’t want to take my chances this time. but i heard things, demonic sounding male voices, what i did was tell myself that i was only imagining them and i started singing (although, how loud can you go with SP? XD). i can’t remember if i sang too loud for it to be SP, or if it was the kind of mumbling i’d do normally if i’m trying to move and it’s just not happening.

evidence supporting the claim that the SP wasn’t a dream is the sensations i felt. i haven’t had SP in months, so could i still remember enough of those sensations to dream about them? also, i’ve been reading, and you’re not supposed to be trying to project when you’re getting vibrations, you’re supposed to wait for the vibrations to stop. the weird/really cool at the time thing is, is that, while i waited, i felt the strangest sensation at the bottom of my skull. it’s the kind of sensation that makes you want to move even though you can’t. i don’t know.

actually, this SP experience reminded me of the first and only experience of SP where i genuinly got frightened. i was lying in bed trying to fall asleep (i woke up to use the bathroom) and i kept feeling the onset of vibrations, so i’d move to try to stop it. desperate for sleep, however, i couldn’t really get up, so every time the vibrations came along, i’d move again to put an end to them. eventually, i don’t manage to move fast enough and i’m in SP. i’m only mentioning this experience because of how fast my body is at entering SP under conditions like that, but i can’t for the life of me induce it myself. i really need to think about what i’m doing differently and try to reproduce it. maybe it’s the fact that i’m not trying at all? oh well, food for thought, i guess :P.

i had more to say, but this entry’s long enough as it is. except, what’s this post missing? ahh, i know:

mrrrrraaaaaooo.

cat demon! hear me roar!

;D

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